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A Step-Parent No More

January 22, 2017

Sometimes I wish Facebook didn’t bring up your past posts on its “On this Day” feature. Just as some good ones pop up, some that bring back painful memories do as well; especially when it involves losing someone you truly loved. I may no longer be a step-parent, but I do know how it feels to have your stepchild cut out of your life. I meet so many step-parents that go through this and my heart goes out to them; that’s why I am sharing this blog . Whether it’s a pointless disagreement, clashing of personalities, and/or you not agreeing with parenting choices, you have no say so unless the biological parents are open to your suggestions, and value the relationship you have with their children.

The love I had for my step-child was worth whatever came with the territory at the time and I tried my best to give all I could. I choose to love even though there was no blood relation but sadly, things took a turn for the worst. There may be no communication now, but there are no hard feelings on my end and I hope one day its known it wasn’t I that chose to end the relationship. I hope all the little things I taught and passed on will always be remembered and one day be big things. All the sunrises, sunsets, and starry skies that were shared, trips to new places, sunbathing by the water and to all the family vacations. But most of all, I hope the love that was showed and given from my family and I is never forgotten.

Thankfully, I have tons of pictures if the past ever shows up and wants answers to unanswered questions. Only a step-parent that has gone through an unexpected loss like this will understand how sad and devastating it is; you can’t just cut off your feelings for someone you love. All we can do is hope our step-children grow up remembering all the great things they learned from us and know we did the best we could when we were allowed in their lives. As much as we love them, we also must think about our hearts, feelings, and sanity, especially when you can’t even have a civil conversation and/or mutual understanding with the bio parents. It’s sad that we often are taken for granted and not appreciated, but all we can do is keep moving forward. I am now at a point in my life where my heart has finally healed from the loss I went through. For those going through this now, my hats off to you for loving someone else’s child unconditionally, freely giving your love, time, and energy to building childhood memories they will never forget.

Other Step-Parent Reads:

My Magical Adventure

Sucky Step-Parents

Step-Parents are Important Too

Step-Mom Summer

Step-Families & Smartphones

A Step-Mom’s Father’s Day

Step-Mom Summer Teachings

The Importance of Letter Writing for Children

So Now What?

Step-Daughter Summer

 

 

  • The Nueva Latina
    January 31, 2017 at 3:38 pm

    It sounds like it’s really difficult to forget and get over it. But, I am glad to see you are moving on. <3

  • Alex Clifton
    February 6, 2017 at 1:09 pm

    I am saddened to hear this news. Seriously, please reach out if ever you need or want to. There’s so much pain that is unique to being a step-mom–pain that many people will never experience or understand.

  • Alex Clifton
    February 6, 2017 at 1:16 pm

    (I tried posting a comment earlier, but I’m having trouble with my internet connection. Let’s try again.)

    In short, I just want to say that I SEE you and thank you for sharing this painful experience. Many people will never know or understand the unique pains experienced by many step-moms. Reach out anytime you need.